It seems that the youngest Gen-Xer's are turning 20 this year.

That's kind of weird, since I thought that I was too young to be a Gen-Xer.

Oh well, now I get to live in the present, experiment, look for immediate results. I can also be selfish, cynical, and depend a lot on my parents.

Wait, I think I'm already doing that last part.

I was watching Oprah the other day, and she was talking about life maps.

Like the good little minion I am, I rounded up a bunch of magazines, some bristol board, a pair of scizzors, a glue stick and my surprisingly-well-humoured-fiance (FN) and proceeded to make some life maps.

It was an interesting exercise, reminicsent of many a grade-school art class and health class collage. Thankfully, though, my life map ended up having a bit more of an air of sophistication and relevance than ones I had done in the past.

Forever North and I were both surprised at how our collages turned out . . . despite our day-to-day behaviour, our collages looked like they had been made by our alter-egos; my collage was full of joyful wedding, family and friends imagery, and FN's was full of funny/weird little blurbs and barely-clothed women. I thought that FN would have been the one with all the fluffy imagery, and mine would have been . . . well, you know.

It was interesting. Maybe next time I'll do one about career possibilities.

Definitely worth reading:

Britney Spears

Found via Zeldman.com.

Ooh, new blog! Me like.

Napkin Notes at the Empire Diner

~rubs eyes~

"My name is Kyle Ford. I'm currently 22 years old. I am married. I live in Los Angeles, California. I work as an Associate Producer at the web division of a major entertainment company."

Sorry, does that say 32? Or 42? Did I misread that?

Good Lord. How the hell do you get your shit together like that at 22???? I feel like such a slacker.

I've got to go pick up my passport.

Forever North and I are going to GMAN's wedding in Hillsboro, Illinois on Saturday.

Let's hope that the US Customs' goons decide to leave us alone. They apparently have a particular distaste for Asian people, and I'd rather not find out for myself.

How very cool!

The bwg (big white guy) is a Canadian living in Hong Kong.

A guy from Edmonton, no less!

Adventures in Engrish:

' . . . the office in which I was working had a set of English instructions for the phone system that had been typed up by one of the Japanese in the office. At one point, the instructions were meant to include the sentence "Hook the phone," meaning (I assume) "hang up the phone."

The author of the instructions apparently didn't know how to spell "hook", so I suppose he tried to sound it out. There is no "hoo" sound in Japanese. The closest is something like "foo", which generally gets transliterated as "fu". As for the "k" sound, the author apparently
decided that in this case "ck" was more likely to be correct than just "k".

So the end result of all this was that the instructions contained the sentence "Fuck the phone." For the Americans in the office, it was good for about ten minutes of barely-contained laughter.'

Found via [the bwg update].

Wow, that was a long technical burp at Blogger.

Maybe a rolling blackout? :)

So that's 2 in Victoria, one in Ottawa, one in Toronto, and one in God-knows-where.

Points to me and any other prairie fools who are blogging their little hearts out, even if no one is watching.

Pacifica? That doesn't sound like a Canadian city. -10 for moving to the US, but +20 for brown power. :)

It seems that the owner of Have Browser, Will Travel was born in Edmonton. He gets 50 points for representing the prairie kids.

But -10 points for moving to Victoria.

So the finalists for The Bloggies are in.

In the category for Best Canadian Weblog are:

Pith and Vinegar


Weblog Shmeblog


SuccaLand


2xy.org=f(ab)


Have Browser, Will Travel

You'll notice that Limeworld is not up there. Yeah, well, no surprise there.

Here's hoping that I might actually have a site worthy of being nominated next year. :P

P.S.) Is it just me, or are some of the Canadian weblogs ones that you've never heard of before?

Earlier I was indulging in a bath, lying back in the water. I was swishing my hair around in the water and generally feeling relaxed.

I suddenly sat bolt-upright, because I noticed that the fomerly crystal-clear water had turned black.

I had my hair dyed black and cut, in the hopes that I could finally stop looking like a hair salon accident.

Gone are the horrid hack-job layers that the moron at Mastercuts gave me for $15, and gone are the tri-coloured stripes I had from dyes that wouldn't take on my hair.

My hair seems to be bleeding dye again, though, so I'm not sure how long it will all stay one colour.

I would like to thank my mother and my step-father for helping Limeworld slide into mediocrity for two months.

God knows that there's nothing people like to hear about more than problems I'm having with my family. Thanks to my family, I really haven't had much else to talk about.

I assure you that in person I am much more interesting and far less one-dimensional.

Hopefully, once Forever North and I manage to dig ourselves out of this rotting hell-hole, I'll have something interesting to contribute.

Hey, Wingnut #2 has a guestbook!

There's some gooders in here:

Kayo:

Whatever attracts you to Sam, a balding, delusional, self-important jackass with a sack-of-yogurt physique, had better be worth the humiliation you'll recieve the moment you stop banging him.

Alas, he's probably letting you read this only because of your limited command of the English language.

What will you do when you join the legions of impregnated third-world women all caring for Sammy's illegitimate throng of children?

Sam, you're living proof that any aging, pot-bellied American asshole can go to Asia and get chicks.

Kayo, you are refereshing evidence that, should I spend my golden years alone and pathetic like Sam, I'm only a plane ticket away from meeting a tight-twatted (albeit average looking) asian mistress like you. So long as I don't get in the way of you recieving your unemployment check, everything should be swell.

Maybe Sam can invite us all over for a bukkake party?

P.S: Sam, you MUST know she's got a boyfriend or two back in Tokyo-?

Those of you who know me will understand why this picture is really eerie.

Look familiar?

I dug deep, and by golly, you never know what you might find in the recesses of your bookmarks!

Everybody loves a nut, especially when he is free to express himself!

Wingnut #1 enjoys studying advances in numerology and biblical studies. He believes that Al Gore is the Anti-Christ. Don't buy it? Read his article An Investigation into the Mystical Number 666. This guy knows his numerology. He also believes that Jesus lived in Japan. No, really.

Wingnut #2 is a clear example of genius run amok. He might know his chess, but his real strength lies in his conspiracy theories. He even has a Japanese girlfriend! You'll come for his story about Princess Di being spotted alive, but you'll stay for the circa-1967 porn.

I love the Internet. :)

Pictures of adoptable animals = cool

Pictures of cats in pyrex boxes = creepy

Hmm . . . apparently the testicles of male rabbits decend between 3 and 6 months. That means that Momo was ~6 months old when I got him.

November . . . December . . . January . . . he's 8 months old! :)

Come to think of it, he could be even younger.

Amusement from email:

TO: All employees


FROM: The boss


DATE: August 3, 2000

RE: Foul Language

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who are easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.


INSTEAD OF: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.


INSTEAD OF: No fucking way!

TRY SAYING: Really?


INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with . . .


INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.


INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.


INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.


INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this.


INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, it won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.


INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?


INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck cares?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the problem.


INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?


INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.


INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.


INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.


INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?


INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: I see.


INSTEAD OF: Bite me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.


INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting?

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.


INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.


INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.


INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.


INSTEAD OF: What the fuck are you doing?

Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by


We never get to stop and open our eyes


One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall


The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all

Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste


This fragrant skin this hair like lace


Spirits open to the thrust of grace


Never a breath you can afford to waste

Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time

When you're lovers in a dangerous time


Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime


Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight


Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

When you're lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time


Lovers in a dangerous time

We were lovers in a dangerous time


We were lovers in a dangerous time

Lovers In a Dangerous Time - Bruce Cockburn

Although I like the Barenaked Ladies version the best.

~rubbing tummy with satisfaction~

Mmm . . . egg-salad sandwich.

How do you wake up one morning and go, "Hmm . . . I'll bet there's hundreds, if not thousands of people who would like to spend a huge chunk of their time looking at pictures of me.".

And how do you come to that conclusion when you're only 14????

Or 18, for that matter.

I guess it's different when the Internet is a part of your formative years. Instead of being a pre-pubescent tart, lusting after men 3-times your age (yes, that would be me . . . scary), you can have dozens of digital admirers who only see your best side and never see how fat rolls and collects around your pudgy, young midsection when you sit down. Now that I think about it, I probably would have done the same thing.

Yes, at the tender age of 14, I probably would have gleefully allowed strangers to leer at me via the Internet. Then, at age 23, I would have at least 50 restraining orders out on strange men across North America. I would ask myself what the fuck I had been thinking, and wonder if anyone will recognize me when I move to Brunei.

It's probably a good thing that the Internet was just a bunch of black text and blue links on white backgrounds when I was 14.

I guess everyone has their own way of spending their youth.

Ooh, I love little things like this!

Forever North and I more or less look like this:

The poofy jacket represents the warm down jacket I have that makes me look 3-times my normal size.

However, if we dig back into the past, this is what we used to look like when we met each other:

Funny how things change. Maybe in a few years we'll look like this:

Or, maybe not.

Found via flowerhead.

So many varieties of chausie!

Ooooh . . . big kitties! More to love!

Forever North and I want to get a chausie when we move to BC.

They're a hybrid between the Jungle Cat, Felis chaus, and domestic cats, Felis domesticus.

They're massive kitties, 12-16" at the shoulder, and weighing 18-30+lbs. (without being overweight).

I'm absolutely beside myself with excitement. Everytime we talk about our plans for when we get to BC, every other sentence includes " . . . our chausie . . . ".

We talk about going camping with our chausie, taking our chausie for walks . . . . *blissful sigh*

I can't wait to bring a huge baby home!!!

Things have finally cooled down with mi familia.

All is good again, and we're back living with my parents. Hopefully the peace will last.

If all remains well, we'll probably leave for Vancouver sometime after April.

I've searched and searched, but I still don't understand how I ended up with http://www.iwantanewgirlfriend.com in my website referrals.

*phew*

Finally, my archive looks the way it's supposed to!

I love this guy. Must read more.

Mmm, more delicious reading enjoyment:

From Byunomatic.

Listening material for 2:00 in the morning when you can't get to sleep and your family is making you want to smoke crack:

Fatboy Slim, Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars

and

Fatboy Slim, On the Floor at the Boutique

These days I feel so exhausted, thanks to my parents.

I'm trying to have a relationship with my mother at least, but even she is making me nuts. She is doing nothing to improve the situation with my step-father, and only serves to make it worse.

The man is barely holding it together psychologically as it is, and to have her badger, berate him, and load guilt trips on him all the time is hugely counter-productive. Yes, he acted like a real stupid fuck, but he's also really messed up. I asked her to get him professional help, but that seems to be going fucking nowhere. All I hear is excuses all the time, and it's enough to make me crazy.

I feel like I really can't be around her right now. She is so in DENIAL about her own contribution to this fucked-up situation, that even having a normal conversation with her is impossible.

FN and I went to brunch with her this morning, and all I heard about was how fucked up my step-father is and how he does seem better or doesn't seem better. When she's done beating that dead horse, she goes on to talk about work. If it isn't my step-father, it's work, and it's enough to make me want to blow my brains out. No, I don't care what hot new deal your cutting with so-and-so, no, I don't care about how this is/isn't making my step-father more crazy, no, I don't want to hear about how he now thinks that you're trying to kill him. Is he in treatment? No? Then don't bring him up. At all.

My mother derives some kind of demented pleasure out of complaining about him, and I'm fucking sick and tired of it. Instead of fixing the problem, she makes it worse and plays this twisted martyr role. Then she talks about work, and it's either a shitload of fear-mongering "You-better-work-because-otherwise-we're-going-to-be-shut-down,", or "We're cutting a huge deal with so-and-so," and "We're really going to take off because of this and such".

Let me say this plainly, Mom. I don't fucking care. I don't want to hear about what a fucking martyr you are for willingly staying with the lunatic I call my step-father, and I don't want to hear about work, whether it's good news or bad news. It's always bullshit of some kind or another, and I'm tired of hearing about it.

Do both of us a favour and pull your head out of your ass. Ask yourself, for once in your life, "How much of my problems have I contributed to?". I think you'll be surprised by what you find.

I can see where all this shit with my parents is going, and it's going nowhere fast. I'd like to help my step-father, but there's very little I can do if he thinks I'm trying to kill him. I'd like to help my mother, but there's very little I can do if she is unwilling to pull her head out of her ass.

It's clearly time to go to Vancouver and leave this shit behind. God knows I don't want my future children to be exposed to this.

Yep, my order for that Blogger mug would have been much more successful if I had paid my credit card bill.

I really see our dollars at work with this new server. Blogger is fast and glossy today!

I advocate that everyone pitch in to help Blogger grow. We've all been sucking off the Blogger teat for free, we might as well pony up some cash to keep them going.

I know if it wasn't for Blogger, Limeworld would still be stale and unchanging, with a readership of no more than 5 people. Blogger has really hooked me up, baby. If Blogger hooked you up too, show 'em some green stuff!

Yay! I ordered a mug. I feel so hip, so with it.

I am looking forward to consuming many a beverage from my Blogger mug. :D

The Blogger merchandise is wicked cool, but the pricetag is brutal. Cafepress is making a pretty penny off of the sales.

FN would flip if I spent $40 on a mug and a mousepad.

Then again, maybe he would like a mug and a mousepad . . . .

*deep sigh*

Well most of the day was a real bitch, but things are starting to look up again.

A good talk with my mom helped me adjust my perspective, and I began to realise that good things can actually come from:

1) Yuki dying


2) My dad getting sick


3) Battling old family issues


4) Being confronted with new ones


5) Generally feeling like I've had the shit kicked out of me for a straight month

Forever North and I really want to move to Vancouver and build a new life, and this really would never have happened if so much shit hadn't hit the fan.

It's time for new horizons and bright futures. There are big things waiting for us in Vancouver. I can feel it. :)

My life dove head-first into the shit-pile.

I'd like to thank the Academy for voting for me, and all the people who helped toss my life into the shit-pile. Without you, it never would have been possible.

Nothing rings in the new year like finding out that your family member thinks you are trying to kill them.

It's extra-super, because it starts to make you paranoid and wonder if that person is trying to kill you, too. That's when you pack your shit up and end up crammed in a twin bed with your fiance 40 km outside of town.

Just when you think your shit is getting straightened out, somebody graciously comes along and fucks it all up again. There ain't much keeping me in this God-forsaken place. Give me Vancouver, give me mild winters and the smell of the ocean. Give me bright prospects and the possibility of leaving all this fucking bullshit behind.

If it wasn't for Forever North, I'm sure I would have slit my wrists by now. Somebody pass me a spoon and a lighter, it's time to get shit-faced.