Right. Well. Serves me right for letting my temper get the better of me. Just as I was making plans to bring the smack down, all 643 messages evaporated from my bulk mail folder. Yep. Just like that. Gone.

I'm going to go meditate now. Or maybe I'll just get drunk.

To the BASTARDS who harvest my email for spam:

Getting 30-40 spam email a day was a bit irksome, but I was willing to shrug it off. When the total reaches 643 GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MESSAGES, that's when I get pissed off.

I'm calling my lawyer. Spam this, fuckwad.

This post provoked me to meditate on British slang that many North Americans either don't understand or don't use unless they're trying to be clever. Yes, I often try to be clever, much like the pretentious loser I can sometimes be. But it does make you love me more, doesn't it?

wanker

tosser

chuff(ed)

snog

bloke

gobsmack(ed)

bugger

potted/potty

And a few as yet unconfirmed British-isms found at NotSoSoft:

scabby - (okay, this isn't exclusively British, but no one I know around here uses it unless they're referring specifically to a scabby wound)

swotting

boffin

knackering

crimbo

bimbling

I was going to post definitions, but seeing as how I'm not British and I don't live in the UK, I don't think I'm qualified. Anyone who is is welcome to submit definitions.

~smashing head repeatedly against desk~

I am so sick of fiddling with this computer. Last night I spent 5+ hours archiving my hard drive on CD so I could reformat and repartition today. Now I've spent several hours reinstalling programs and doing the archiving in reverse. AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I just want to play The Sims!!!!

Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Life, I Learned Playing The Sims:

10 points in no particular order

1) Don't let your fun-bar get too low

2) Don't hug/kiss/fondle/grope your roomate until you've established some sort of friendship first

3) Make sure you get enough sleep and comfort so you don't pass out suddenly and block a doorway

4) Don't barge into the bathroom when someone is using the toilet

5) The more money you have, the easier it is to make it

6) Making and keeping friends is essential

7) Missing work more than once will likely get you fired

8) Kissing the hot neighbour in front of your significant other is a bad idea

9) Not everyone thinks your jokes are funny

10) Someone who has learned how to cook is less likely to burn down the house

The party was awesome. Just nine of us enjoying the best pizza in town, but that was the best birthday I've had in years.

Thanks for coming everyone! I love you guys! And not just because I got The Sims - Hot Date!

I think my crack-of-dawn behaviour has something to do with the fact that today is my birthday.

Okay, that's a lie. My birthday was last Saturday, but today we're having a party! So I guess I'm filled with the ebullient joy of an eight year-old because I get to see a whole bunch of my friends tonight. :)

We'll be having the best pizza in town (Tony's), and partaking in much merriment. This beats the hell out of the miserable, wallowing Saturday I had last week.

I seem to have developed some strange sleep disorder that compels me to get up before 6am.

Well, at least I would call it a sleep disorder, since I've never been a morning person. Ever. I would have made an excellent vampire up until recently.

Does this mean I'm getting old? Is this the beginning of the end? Somebody pass the Geratol.

See this? Also pretty, and another damn good read.

~deep sigh~

Apparently cgiComments won't work on my server. I was really counting on using that, but apparently I can't.

I feel so defeated. I was feeling so good about all the nifty new things I added to the upcoming redesign, but now I feel like it looks like dog snot.

Do you see this? It's beautiful. Simple. Elegant. Easy to use. And damn nice to look at. But guess what? I'm not a graphic designer, so all I can throw together is amateur dog snot.

I hate this. I'm applying to art school right now!!!!

~pout~

Limegirl versus the Breadmachine follow-up:

The loaf is now lying on a cutting board beside the breadmachine. I sliced a piece off the bottom after digging the mixing widget out of the loaf. The bread is not quite as poofy and inviting as I thought it would be, so I opted for a bit of butter to ease the esophageal descent.

Verdict? A bit drier and crustier than I would have hoped. I was hoping for spongey yet robust, but instead I got crunchy and dense. A bit too much gum-slicing action from the crust as well. Not too bad though, especially considering I've used a breadmachine only once before.

I'd give the end result

out of 10,

mostly for effort. It's edible, but hey, we were shooting for really swanky french bread, not just any old crap.

Advertising for the niche demographic:

Delta - 892kb mp3

My homeboy M-Ho was kind enough to point me to the following phat site, a glowing repository of rap lingo:

Rap Dictionary

Today I will be making a genuine effort to use fo shizzle my nizzle and fo sheezy my neezy in conversation.

Limegirl versus the Breadmachine:

I woke up at an ungodly hour this morning with a burning desire to make bread. Don't ask me why . . . I've been feeling a bit domestic lately. Anyway, French Bread seemed to be the order of the day:

Good and Simple French Bread:

1 c. + 2 T. lukewarm water

1 t. lemon juice, fresh or bottled

1 1/2 T. olive oil

1 1/2 T. sugar

1 t. salt

3 1/2 c. flour

2 t. yeast

Makes one 11/2lb. loaf.

The breadmachine is presently making horrible grunting, whirring and clicking noises. Since this is the first time I've ever used this, I'll have to assume that this is normal, and that in 3 hours something vaguely resembling french bread will emerge from it.

There is also a good possibility that the reason our former roommate left it with us is because it's broken, in which case either a charcoal brick will emerge from it, or the machine will explode before it ever reaches the baking stage. Only time will tell.

Birthdays are good!

My friend's mom made me a birthday cake with a (lime)green Neon on it

and I got a package in the mail . . . my sister ordered me a book from Amazon.com! Woo hoo! My very first Amazon.com book!

According to the Political Compass test, I am:

Economic Left/Right: -1.75


Authoritarian/Libertarian: -6.46

Is that a good thing? I don't know . . . it sure feels like a good thing.

Found via FryKitty.

Or so they tell me . . .

If I were a work of art, I would be Vincent Van Gogh's The Starry Night.

I am a tiny village at peace while overhead rages the tumult of the heavens. Objects whirl and flash around me in a fevered haze only partially reflected in reality while I remain grounded and secure in my isolation.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

Found via Lester

~clears throat~

~cough~

Happy Birthday to me,


Happy Birthday to me,


Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeee,


Happy Birthday to me!

I'm 24 today! Hooray!

My site redesign is tapping its fingers impatiently at me. It wants to know why I haven't gotten cgi working on my site yet. It wants to know when I'm going to figure out how to install cgicomments and bloody well get on with things.

Answer? Dunno. I don't know the first thing about cgi and Perl, and the test cgi script I uploaded as instructed by Ray doesn't work yet. Part of the problem is I don't know how to telnet my server, if I even can. I considered trying dotcomments, but apparently my weblog would have to be a php file for that to work, and, much like cgi and Perl, php is not within my present realm of comprehension.

So, to my site design . . . tough noogies. Unless you're planning on doing the cgi stuff yourself, you'll just have to be patient.