Before I go, here's a little something for those of us who enjoy cat antics:

Cat Antics

" The movie started off good, but it became increasingly clear that I was not in it."

" . . . a golden, husky voice rang out, `Where's Lando? Where's Lando Calrissian?'."

TGIF everybunnies.

Why North Vancouver is a good place to live.

Found via Firda at Weblog Wannabe.

I wish that I could plug myself into a Matrix-esque massage chair and upload all there is to know about PHP and CSS into my brain.

If anyone has suggestions on how to go about doing this, I would greatly appreciate it.

Cannibal Lee


(With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe, who is now rolling in his grave.)

It was many and many a year ago,


In a diner by the sea,


That a waitress there worked whom you may know


By the name of Cannibal Lee;


And this waitress she worked with no other thought


Than to eat and have eaten for free.

I ate a child and she ate a child,


In this diner by the sea;


And we ate them with lemon pepper and a serving of quinoa salad on the side-


I and my Cannibal Lee;


With such a delicious aroma that neighbourhood dogs


Coveted her and me.

Inspired by the original, Annabel Lee. First parodied by yours truly back in 1991, but unless you were in my ninth grade language arts class, you wouldn't know that. Good thing my teacher had a sense of humour.

F-No and I are departing for Japan on June 7.

It's mostly a business trip, but we will be taking a few days to do some sightseeing. It will be F-No's first time to Japan, and my fourth. Ironically, F-No is actually more well equipped for this trip since he took Japanese for four years and I . . . well . . . never really learned Japanese.

That's why I have a stack of books designed to help me attain a passable level of Japanese. What I currently don't leave home without is my Japanese In 10 Minutes A Day. It looks a lot like a book for a preschooler on the inside, but the content is structured well for the average English speaker. I can now say:

Gohan wa itsu desu ka?


(When is dinner?)

Hagaki o shichi mai kudasai.


(Please give me seven postcards.)

My handy little Lonely Planet phrasebook is even more useful. It has such useful phrases as:

Watashi wa kyosanto o shiji shimasu.


(I support the Communist Party.)

Watashi wa shirami ga imasu.


(I have lice.)

Tsuma wa nan-nin imasu ka?


(How many wives do you have?)

Now, if I could just figure out how to say, "Which way to the preserved skin growth exhibit?", I would be all set.

Cyber sex doesn't get hotter than this.

A useful little tool I found via Sam:

A really awesome bowling game found via Don.

In light of the whole mad cow situation, nothing instills more confidence in me than a picture like this:

I've got new shoooooes!!!

I'm kinda in love with my new shoes. I finally had to admit that my boots had finally plodded through their last winter. The rubber sole was cracked somewhere, which caused an irritating squeaking noise everytime I walked. The crack also made the heel of the boot slip a little on smooth surfaces, which made for an unsteady walking experience.

I decided that it was time for some nice flat shoes for work, instead of praying everyday that the farthest I'll have to walk in the boots is the bathroom. And then I found the shoes:

I think I'm going to have to buy several pairs of wicked new shoes, or I'm gonna wear these puppies out.

I would like to express my ebullient joy about having my wallet ripped out of my ass by the utility companies. Hopefully I will be able to find enough change in the couch with which to purchase some Preparation H.

Additionally, I would like to thank all the drivers who think that the 4-way stop in the neighbourhood has a double-left turn in spite of all indications to the contrary. The near collisions that I must witness every morning on the way to work are enough to make me want to park myself on the median with a lawn chair and a carton of eggs. Everytime another twit decides to make a left turn from THE RIGHT LANE, they'll get a windshield full of chicken ovum.

That said, I'm in a fabulous mood this morning.

I'm 31.

Okay, not really, but the RealAge quiz says I am. Forever North got an even more jarring wake-up call, being told that he is in fact NINE YEARS OLDER than his birthdate.

Think you're young and bulletproof? Think again. You might be older than you think you are.

Diarrhea - 4


Limegirl - 0

Yep, I'm losing against the sloppy poo. We came home to find the dog had exploded yet again. I'm really not sure why this keeps happening, but I would LOVE to know the answer. I hope the vet has some ideas.